Accurate

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submitted 3 weeks ago by ☆ Yσɠƚԋσʂ ☆@lemmy.ml

Accurate
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HP: you are not going to get fired. You will quit.

*glances over at HP laptop I requested a replacement for 6 months ago because it overheats if I have a video call on and a spreadsheet open*

My HP is genuinely a creepy laptop. In the BIOS is a an "HP remote setting" as well as 3 other remote modes *all at the bios level* asking to join my wifi, again, at the BIOS level.

I work from my home laptop. I have a small offline private network between my work laptop and home laptop that I send ansible jobs to (since the work laptop is a powerful machine), but that work laptop does not touch the internet.

Well, let's see...my work laptop experience (so far).

  • Lenovo: Worked there for 14 years
  • HP: Worked there for 6 months
  • Apple: Worked there for 6 months
  • HP: Worked there for 2.5 years
  • Apple: Worked there for a year
  • Dell: Worked there for 2.5 years--

Alternatively, your laptop will spontaneously combust firing you from life.

I seriously don't understand how that fucking company is still in business.

Panasonic Toughbook: you accidentally applied to a job on an oil rig.

Haha I was going to say you're about to get shot in a foreign country.

Network Operations Field Tech. They climb the ladders and debug the cameras. Absolutely toughbook.

Siemens Field PG: you make a lot of money

Honestly good litmus test, if you got a Thinkpad that means somebody seems to listen to IT on what to buy which does bode sort of well for a tech job

Looks depressingly at the shiny new ThinkPad my work got me to replace my old ThinkPad... I'd get so much fucking severance if these fucks ever laid me off - is it really never going to happen?

ThinkPads for 24 years, same.company. last one had a terrible battery, After a few months, I couldn't take it anymore and complained about the battery life.

... now I have a Dell. Maybe that was my first strike used up.

Guess I can stop worrying about job security for the forseeable future

I've been using thinkpads as a work laptop since they were branded IBM Thinkpad. So, I have nothing further to comment.

I requested a thinkpad and installed arch linux on it. How safe is my job?

Answer: how safe is the job from you?

If you try to give notice they'll kidnap you and you'll spend the next three decades of your life singlehandedly keeping the server running from a secure location somewhere in the Poconos.

Damn, the Dell one is accurate for me.

Looking back... that was right, hmm, 7 out of 8 times. The miss was a very chill place that gave out Dells, but I lost my job because the funding round didn't come in.

Razor: if your house burns down because of the inevitable lithium fire it will cause, you're on your own

So far flip the dell and Lenovo around and it’s accurate for me

Lenovo: you're okay with sharing secrets with China.

If I have to choose which government I'm going to share my secrets with it's going to be the one that doesn't have agency over me.

Its also one you don't have any agency over.

(I'm living under the dreamful pretence that the american people can hold their intelligence agencies at least somewhat in check)

yeah, I'm pretty sure that as a westerner you have zero agency over either government in practice