If a vampire asks you if they may enter your home, and you answer "you may not" ...

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Can they rush in after the first two words, before you say "not"? Can they enter if they stuff their ears before they hear the final word?

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the preferred nomenclature is "come back with a warrant".

Don't give them ideas!

Hey, that’s an idea! A buddy cop movie, where they’re also vampires and execute warrants to get invited into the houses of the victims.

So a documentary about America then

Vampires are way cooler than police imo.

Actually, that could be a fun plot point. Vampires get in with warrants, find out people hate cops, investigate why, instigate positive change in the system...

Would be a major improvement to normal cops since they would only enter your house with a warrant.

Don't forget that a door mat that says "welcome" counts as consent.

What We Do In The Shadows reference?

At least I remember it from Renfield

Currently watching this with my wife! Season 2. We really enjoy it.

"Creeepee papah!"

And now my household will occasionally go "Fu-hkeeng gguuuuy" 😆

No. It is magic so they would not be able to enter partway through an answer as doing so would make it clear that the vampire knew it was really a no.

They don't know until the third word, they only hypothesize it's a no.

If they are *magically forbidden* to enter without permission, but also don't know every language or phrasing of 'come on in', then there is a *magical way to know intent* without needing to hear all the words.

Otherwise they wouldn't be able to work with nods and hand motions from people who cannot speak, shrugs and grunts from drunk college students, etc.

Hmm, this was debated already and in this comment they provided a peer reviewed journal article about intent vs language and understanding. It sums things up better than I could. They clearly cared a lot more than me about this.

The thing with sources is that sometimes it is hard to know how reliable they are, and sometimes they do let you down.

sometimes they do let you down.

Some readers might assume a lie, and dissert you.

What’s the longest duration between may and not that would be valid in keeping them out?

I imagine it's the intent, so it doesn't matter how long.

How long until you start questioning if it will work and invite doubt? Or will you assume defeat if the vampire fills the gap with, “why, thank you my good sir”?

My understanding of the idea with many interpretations of magic is they are all just ways of focusing your will on the world.

Ergo, the words aren’t themselves the source of power, your expectation that the words will result in a certain outcome is.

Therefore, if your intention is to deny entry is strong, there could be a fairly good gap.

But on the other hand, playing around to try and see could create doubt and uncertainty, weakening the effect.

How long until you start questioning if it will work and invite doubt?

Softly, almost purring, Barlow said, “Then will you throw away your cross and face me on even terms—black against white? Your faith against my own?”
“Yes,” Callahan said, but a trifle less firmly.
“Then do it!” Those full lips became pursed, anticipatory. The high forehead gleamed in the weird fairy light that filled the room.
“And trust you to let him go? I would be wiser to put a rattlesnake in my shirt and trust it not to bite me.”
[..]
Barlow seemed to grow taller. His hair, swept back from his brow in the European manner, seemed to float around his skull. He was wearing a dark suit and a wine-colored tie, impeccably knotted, and to Callahan he seemed part and parcel of the darkness that surrounded him. His eyes glared out of their sockets like sly and sullen embers.
“Then fulfill your part of the bargain, shaman.” “I’m a priest!” Callahan flung at him.
Barlow made a small, mocking bow. “Priest,” he said, and the word sounded like a dead haddock in his mouth.
Callahan stood indecisive. Why throw it down? Drive him off, settle for a draw tonight, and tomorrow—
But a deeper part of his mind warned. To deny the vampire’s challenge was to risk possibilities far graver than any he had considered. If he dared not throw the cross aside, it would be as much as admitting...admitting... what? If only things weren’t going so fast, if one only had time to think, to reason it out—
The cross’s glow was dying.
He looked at it, eyes widening. Fear leaped into his belly like a confusion of hot wires. His head jerked up and he stared at Barlow. He was walking toward him across the kitchen and his smile was wide, almost voluptuous.
“Stay back,” Callahan said hoarsely, retreating a step. “I command it, in the name of God.”
Barlow laughed at him.
The glow in the cross was only a thin and guttering light in a cruciform shape. The shadows had crept across the vampire’s face again, masking his features in strangely barbaric lines and triangles under the sharp cheekbones.
Callahan took another step backward, and his buttocks bumped the kitchen table, which was set against the wall.
“Nowhere left to go,” Barlow murmured sadly. His dark eyes bubbled with infernal mirth. “Sad to see a man’s faith fail. Ah, well...”

-Stephen King, *Salem’s Lot*

If the vampire knows it is intended to be a no then it doesn't matter. The person could never finish it as long as the vampire knows the real answer is no despite the words being stated not matching up.

I admire your confidence

It is a necessity when the vampires keep trying to get in!

It seems to me that the wording itself is unimportant, but rather the intention. So I would imagine no

Hear me out, so what if the vampire gaslights you into thinking that you already invited them in and they're so good at it that you really believe it? Does that establish intent?

Only if they can gaslight into giving them permission. If they convince you theyre a friend you havent seen since high school that would be the way to go.

This inspired me to keep a handheld mirror near my front door, for when someone inevitably asks if they can come in, I can grab it and do a very obvious vampire check

I hope your can find a mirror made with silver, most modern ones aren't, and that's why vampires didn't show up in them

Dude. Thank you. I would've let so many vampires in.

As much as I appreciate it though, we're poor as fuck, vampires still welcome.

You can use an old silver spoon or knife as a mirror

Or stab a stake in their heart! If they are a vampire, they will either instantly turn to dust or at least be paralysed, so you can easily dispose of them.

Otherwise it's going to be just ordinary murder.

Splash them with holy water

Will be appreciated by non vampire guests on hot days

Dammit, time to hit the antique store.

You're mixing stuff up. Mirrors reflect souls, and since vampires don't have souls, they don't have no reflections.

By that logic, no inanimate objects should show up either. I'd look in a mirror and would see behind me through the back wall and all the way to my neighbors inside their now invisible soulless house, and all neighbors beyond. It'd just be a bunch of people at various distances in my mirror line of sight in an infinite void behind me as far as the eye can see. And we'd all appear naked.

That's correct, and the "vampires have no reflection" thing is stupid. Most modern interpretations ditch it.

The requirement isn't that vampires need to hear you say "You can come in," it's that you need to extend them a formal invitation and lower the barrier that protects your home. Theoretically, you could lie to the vampire, but they'd probably notice your barrier and wouldn't get fooled.

...you do have a barrier right? You properly consecrated the ground before moving, drew the sigils, and cleansed all existing evil spirits? 'Cuz otherwise, any old spooky creature will probably skip the pleasantries and just get you.

Pretty sure the realtor was supposed to handle all of that.

any old spooky creature will probably skip the pleasantries and just get you.

If they ain't paying rent I can surely make them uncomfortable enough to leave by just being myself.

I can surely make them uncomfortable enough to leave by just being myself.

BE AFRAID, CREATURES OF THE NIGHT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1wecXTc_xo

No, vampires usually leave that sort of "exact words" trickery to faeries and genies.

And in their case I think they'd let you finish speaking because they relish the challenge more than they want to simply squish you.

Imagining a vampire showing up to Wayne and Garth's studio.

"You may come in...... NOT!"

Borat's House:

"You may.... NOT come in."

I think it's safe to say that intent is what matters, not the technicality of communicating that intent. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intention

I would say, no, because the same magic rule prompting the vampire to ask permission in the first place also requires the answer to be complete. Otherwise, why bother? They would dart inside even before you had a chance to say "you" with the excuse that since you were taking too long you probably were okay with it.

I wonder if the magic rule understands double negatives. If you tell a vampire "You ain't never coming in here," can they enter? What about sarcasm? "Oh *yeah*, I'm *definitely* inviting you in."

I suppose it depends on if you can write a fun story around either one. Since every rule about vampires that sticks basically only has one thing in common, the writing in which it was featured was popular. If what you write around it isn't very good, then no, I guess retroactively that isn't how vampires work. But if it becomes popular and part of peoples canon in the future, then yes, that is exactly how vampires work, now.

this is why you start the sentence with "no, you may not".

a lot of humans do that, too. cut you off early and pretend they didn't hear the second part, stuff like that. happened to me a lot. caused me to rearrange word-order a lot.

Depends, is this vampire known as Brock Turner?

You mean the rapist Brock Allen Turner?

You mean Brock Turner the rapist?

I just realized that I'd be pretty safe from vampire infestations. I hate having visitors, and will make (up) any excuse to avoid them. "Sure, but I was about to leave to deal with a work-related emergency. I don't know when I'll be home."
...and then they can sit there alone until I see them leaving on my door camera.

I don't mind visiting others, because then I can leave when I'm spent. At home, however, it's where I expect to be left alone.

You said "sure", you're done!

Assuming that vampires can be seen on camera

Assuming someone knocking on my door without being visible on my camera would get a response to begin with.

Usually, they only need permission once, then they can enter at will

With those implications, they'd never be allowed in.

They don't need to they just evict you instead.

A vampire mesmerizing a victim into allowing entry always felt like cheating to me

Yes, that would be cheating.

Isn't that the entire reason behind the rule, so that they could write a way for the vampires to circumvent it. They established a fake rule that never used to exist and then proceeded to prop it up over and over until the reader believed it to be law, and then when they least expected it, it was dashed to pieces in an instant.

Of course it's cheating, but cheating at what exactly? Cheating at a rule that never even used to exist, was written specifically to later be broken in that very same book. It's like any puzzle design in writing, like murder mystery, they usually create the puzzle backwards by thinking of fun solutions to problems they could then create to lead there.

If you live alone and vampire shows up at your door with a gun and shoots you dead, could it then enter the house

Yes but then it has to water my plants weekly forever.

No, because you didn't grant it consent to enter prior to death.

That only applies if you stick around haunting the house. If your soul moves on the house is no longer yours.

OK, but what if you're still haunting the house, but a new person legally buys it and then invites the Vampire in? Who's preference takes precedent?

That is yet to be decided in the courtroom of sitcom based on that exact premise.

I'm sure it varies by setting but my head canon is it's about intent. They don't need to be granted permission explicitly, they just need you to explicitly want them to enter.

They're fast, faster than you can imagine, don't look away and don't blink. Blink and you're dead.

Just say no.

That's quite impolite, isn't it?

"Vell, you didn't have to be rude about it."

Let's not victim blame the vampire prey now. They do not owe a blood-sucking villain their time nor respect.

The statement is more of a ritual appliance. I think the intent is key.

A lot of people here are telling you that the answer is 'no' because the vampires must respect your true intent or rely on trickery to get you to willfully invite them in.

But the real reason is 'no' because vampires aren't real.

Sure Mr Suspiciously Pale Human, whatever you say, you still can't come in even if vampires don't exist.

That's what a vampire trying to enter my house would say.

Answering the question necessitates engaging with the premise. Refusing to do so and acting smug just makes you look like a dick.

But there's one asking to enter so it turns out you're wrong about that.

If someone pulls a gun on me I can't declare "bullets aren't real" and expect to endure being shot without taking harm.

I guess we could ask OP to try saying "you may not" and see whether he survives to post confirmation that it worked?

The only correct answer.

i guess not.

hollywood says vampires have to sparkly shine first.

some vamp lore says it is your invitation that counts and not the permission part.

some cultures need visitors to declare themselves human when knocking at your door.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
A human.
A human who?
A humangous 8 storey tall crustacean from the protozoic era.

some cultures need visitors to declare themselves human when knocking at your door.

I didn't think that much about it until this post. People here, me included, basically call out "(I'm a) human!" while knocking on the door.

Tao po?

Saglit lang! Sino po sila? (A moment please! Who are they?)

Lol! Yes!! That's exactly it! I never really thought much about it until this post. It's one of those things people just do, without thinking much about it.

Vampires and humans are not known for enforcing laws against each other. Stake it before you get eaten rule. Eat then deny you were not invited in rule.

I'm not sure there is "binding magical power" in the food's words, and if not, it's not worth considering the food's words. Not much recent history of "magical god intervention" stopping rule breaking, and there would need to be a "magical human+vampire governing interventionist god" there to supervise all interactions.

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Yes. This happened to my cousin Ronny. He's undead now.

Yes. AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH! I thought you said I could enter your house. This is not my home.

First of all, why would you fuck around with a vampire? Second, don't try a not joke with them. I think if you wait to long between the "you may" and the "....NOT!", you're fucked.

Similar question, what if you retract the invite after they've already entered the home?

This is vampire propaganda.

You're already at their mercy if they are talking to you.